“Why am I single?” Many unmarried individuals often ask themselves this daunting question. In the age of social media and frequent exposure to the lives of others, it appears as if everyone is getting married. Therefore, it is only natural to wonder when your time will come.
Self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans. It helps provide insight regarding why things may be the way they are in our lives. While this article title may have a slightly negative undertone, it is not intended to be discouraging. It may be applicable to some readers or totally irrelevant to others. However, nonetheless, it is worthy of reading to see if any of the listed reasons may be relevant.
Why Am I Single? 10 Possible Reasons You’re Still Alone
1. You’re Selfish
Selflessness is very necessary for a successful marriage. However, if you are unwilling to share or open up to others, this is a huge red flag you may not be ready for marriage. Not right now at least. Your future spouse will be someone that requires your patience, willingness to give, and unconditional regard for his or her well-being. If you are unable to provide these things, you’re certainly not ready for marriage.
2. You’re Overly Opinionated
Believe it or not, the way you view the world may not always be the same way another person views it. Therefore, you must be willing to step outside of yourself and be considerate of others’ opinions. Yes, your outlook on life is important. However, you must learn to realize not everyone will possess the same beliefs as you. And that’s perfectly fine. While you may not always agree, you’ll have to learn to agree to disagree. This is a skill that must be perfected in marriage. Otherwise, you’ll always be stuck in an argument refusing to back down. A recipe for disaster.
3. You’re Stuck in Your Own Routine
Being single for an extended period of time can create a bit of stubbornness. Meaning you may be stuck in your own habits. You’re used to your own schedule and not answering to anybody. However, when another person steps into the picture, you must learn you’ll have to also consider his/her routine as well. The way you’ve always done certain things may not work anymore. You’ll have to be flexible and willing to change your plans, even when it’s inconvenient. In marriage, it’s not all about what you want to do. A huge “we” will be inserted into all your plans.
4. You’re Unwilling to Compromise
Compromise is a heavy subject. As previously stated, in marriage, you’ll have to be pliable. Some things you desire to do may not be as easy anymore. In addition, you may have to do things you simply don’t want to do. But that’s marriage. Sometimes you’ll get your way. Other times you won’t. However, you must be open to compromise. It may take a while to master this skill. But you’ll have to at least be willing to initiate the mindset in order to have a good relationship.
5. Sacrificing Scares You
In marriage, you’ll have to give up some things. Whether it’s time, a piece of your old self, or a physical item…sacrificing for your mate is vital. You may have to give up going to the club every weekend, move out of your cozy home, or reduce your “me time” to spend more time with your mate. Sacrifices vary. But whatever it is, as long as you’re not losing yourself in the process, sacrificing is inevitable in marriage. Living as a single person is completely different. However, when it’s not just you anymore, you’ll have to stop doing some things, start doing new things, and everything in between. That’s marriage.
6. You’re Too Focused on the Superficial
People tend to get defensive when this subject arises. While physical appearance shouldn’t be completely ignored, it shouldn’t be all one focuses on either. Too often singles are overly focused on the way a person looks. So much so, they ignore everything else. Some people are even willing to tolerate unruly behavior. But appearance should never be at the top of one’s priority list. Looks will fade. Therefore, if you’re overly focused on physical appearance, you’ll need a priority realignment. Take some time to examine what you’re looking for in a mate, and realize looks aren’t everything.
7. Pickiness Rules You
Oh, the picky ones. Being hyper focused on minutia can ruin your chances of ever entering and maintaining a healthy relationship. Most picky people are hard to have a good relationship with and have impossible standards. If you’re one of those people, you’re probably never satisfied and hard to please. Nobody wants to marry a hard to please person. So, relax a little. Is the kind of car a person drives really that important? Is their food preference really going to determine how well they’ll treat you? Be realistic. In marriage, you’ll find out a lot about your spouse. In fact, you will learn more about them than you did during dating. Being too picky can ruin a potentially good thing. Refuse to allow it to.
8. You’re Obsessed with Perfection
Nothing is perfect in life. Nothing. You’re not perfect, and your spouse won’t be perfect either. The sooner you learn nothing will ever be perfect, the better. Your spouse won’t always be glamorous or dressed up. I’m sure you won’t be either. Breath will get funky, along with other body parts. People may even gain a little weight for whatever reason. If change bothers you or if you’re obsessed with perfection, you may be better off single.
9. You are Impatient
Patience is truly a virtue. As cliché as it sounds, it’s true. Marriage requires a ton of patience. If you don’t have patience, you’ll drive yourself crazy (and your spouse too). Situations may not occur as quickly as you prefer them to. But waiting is something married people must do sometimes. Frequently actually. However, if you’re an impatient person you’ll be frustrated often, bossy, and certainly argumentative. You’ll be attempting to force things to happen. So, before you get married work on your patience. You’ll need it.
10. You’re Unconcerned with the Feelings of Others
This is possibly one of the most important of them all. Being concerned about how someone else feels is especially important. In marriage, you’ll often have to take into consideration your actions and how it makes your spouse feel. In addition, you’ll also have to display your concern enough for your spouse to witness it. Your spouse needs to know how much you love them. Love is displayed best via actions. Words are important too, but actions are the best evidence.
The answer to the “Why am I single” question may or may not lie within this article. However, whatever the reason may be, don’t beat yourself up about it. Comparing yourself to others only makes matters worse. For everything in life, there is a season and a time.
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