We have all ignored relationship red flags at some point in our dating journey. We hope for the best and pray things will improve all while disregarding what’s best for us. Oftentimes, people warn us in the initial stages of dating they may not be good for us. However, because we are optimistic, we ignore the obvious relationship red flags that could save us from terrible heartache.
9 Relationship Red Flags to Take Seriously
1. Selfishness
Being with someone who doesn’t like to share can be draining. However, too often selfishness is ignored. You either hope they will change, focus on other aspects of the relationship, or disregard it altogether. But selfishness will come back to haunt you. Especially if you decide to marry the person or have kids with them. In marriage sharing is inevitable. You will share the same home, bed, finances, kids, and many other things. If a person is reluctant to share in these instances, he or she will make life ridiculously hard. Without a doubt, this is one of the biggest relationship red flags you’ll want to pay attention to.
2. Secretiveness
What’s the point of being in a relationship if one must hide everything? If you are in a relationship with a person that refuses to let you into their lives, this is a sign there is something he or she does not want you to know. And usually, it’s related to #1 above. Secretiveness can involve the hiding of finances, past relationships, and current ones too. Choose a mate that will never hesitate to be open with you no matter the consequences.
3. Bad Communication
During the initial stages of dating, effective communication may be challenging. It may take a while for two people to be on one accord with communication preferences. But, failing to communicate altogether consistently is a relationship red flag. If a person rarely ever opens him or herself up and chooses not to keep an open door for expression of needs, he or she may not be the best long-term candidate. Excellent communication is at the core of every healthy relationship. Therefore, if a person consistently dodges communication and ignores your attempts to talk, leave.
4. Private Social Media
This a big one. If the person you are dating refuses to connect with you on Facebook or Instagram, they are hiding something. Period. He or she either does not want others to know about you, or they do not want you to witness who else they may be in contact with. Furthermore, he or she doesn’t want you to see his or her activity feed. Whatever the case may be, something is being concealed. Beware. This is one of the most disregarded relationship red flags not taken seriously.
5. Hesitancy to Help
Your sweetie should always be willing to lend a helping hand. If you are stranded on the side of the road, will he or she immediately try to assist you? Or make up reasons to refrain? If you are sick, will he or she offer to take care of you or at least buy whatever you need from the grocery store? If not, this is an alarming relationship red flag. A person’s hesitancy to help is a sign of selfishness (see #1). In marriage, you are going to need someone who is willing to help for several reasons (sickness, babies, pregnancy, etc.) even when it is inconvenient.
6. Failure to Set Boundaries with Previous Flings
This is another big one. Huge. Not only is failure to set boundaries with certain people disrespectful, but it’s also selfish. If a person’s ex is still lingering around, it is highly likely they are keeping them around for a reason. However, whatever the reason may be, it is unacceptable. Especially if the communication with the ex-lover is hidden. Exes are exes for a reason. If your mate still entertains past lovers, cut buddies, or flings and refuses to let those connections go, you should probably walk away.
7. Inconsistency
Consistency is key. It tells you a lot about a person’s level of interest. If you find you are usually the one initiating daily phone calls/texts, you are probably more committed to the relationship than your mate is. His or her inconsistency with communication is a red flag. Likewise, if your significant other occasionally verbally expresses how he/she feels, but hardly ever shows it, you should question their sincerity. A consistent person will show you how much they care. Moreover, it will be present daily and in everything they do. If not…it is a red flag. Hit the escape button.
8. Flipping Personality
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde individuals are extremely hard people to have a good relationship with. At any moment they will shut down on you without warning. Oftentimes, they are quick to get angry as well. However, when they are in a good mood, they are a joy to be around. But don’t let them fool you. If you are in a relationship with someone who constantly flips on you…run.
9. Too Many White Lies
A person who constantly tells tiny white lies in their everyday life is extremely comfortable with lying altogether. If they can tell small lies without remorse, they feel the same way regarding bigger ones. And who wants to be with a habitual liar? Stop ignoring the obvious relationship red flags and pay attention. A liar is a liar. Plain and simple.
Relationship red flags are usually very obvious. However, they are often ignored. But pay attention to them. They will prevent you from entering unhealthy relationships. Nightmares actually. Stop ignoring the signs and guard your heart.
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